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Intended simply as a way for their friend to put a face to the person they had obviously spoken of. Suddenly I was right back down to the some of the lowest points in my life. The person undergoing IV therapy, taking twenty-some pills a day, piling up medical debt, and seeing the best physicians while still unable to leave the house most days. But post-op, there was this moment in life where that was no longer me. I was again “the sick one.” Somehow even when things had been slowly going downhill, I was blinded enough by the highs to be shocked when I was back to square one. I felt sorry for myself and felt alone despite the people around me. I had a whole other vision for it after my ostomy surgery, but this person, right here, in a hospital room getting bad news? Until the person next to me, the person who responded to the news of my ostomy when we first met with a poop joke, responded with another poop joke. The kind that made me laugh so hard that all the ugly tears shook off my face. I read it knowing the hurt of bullying and the feeling of people looking at me with any variant of disgust when seeing or talking about my ostomy bag.I read it after writing and sharing what was basically a diary entry of overwhelming emotions.I started to prepare myself again for the life full of battles, ready to sink back to that person who laid in the fetal position on the sofa, unable to eat or move or laugh from deep within my belly. I just kept thinking, over and over, that this is my life. I’ll feel healthy, I’ll laugh, and I’ll enjoy the smooth sailing.
I had since decided that anyone who was less than understanding would be an immediate no. ” The words hung in the air before we both laughed.
It is by no means comparable, but it made me think a lot about the strong support system around me.
I know that my mindset is shaped so greatly by those handpicked few who always have my back and in the midst of this article, fresh in my own rehashed wounds, my gratitude for life and the way it all works out has increased.
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