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The short courtships of yesteryear, where the end goal was to get married swiftly, have been replaced with casual dating: "People are working slowly into friends with benefits, then slowly into dating somebody," Fisher pointed out."What we're seeing is a real extension of the pre-commitment stage before we tie the knot.For decades, we've been trying to quantify love—and in the age of dating apps, we're trying to decode it with algorithms.Many believe that romance is somehow a numbers game—the more we play, the better the odds. Last week, Ok Cupid VP of Engineering Tom Jacques and Fisher, who is also Match.com's scientific advisor, came together at Intelligence Squared to argue that dating apps are designed to find love.Where marriage used to be the beginning of a relationship, now it's the finale." Jones, who has been dubbed the "male Carrie Bradshaw" and has read more than 80,000 first-person accounts through his column, noticed another shift in recent years—one he attributes to online dating: "I think people are terrified," he said."To be vulnerable with someone is what love requires, but that's the hardest thing.Their opponents, WNYC's co-author Eric Klinenberg, argued that online dating has killed romance.Who won, and more importantly, what were the arguments for (and against) dating in the world of apps?
Has romance changed since the beginning of humanity? Flowers on a first date have been replaced by a casual text: "U up? Klinenberg defined romance as "the sense of being swept away, remote from reality, away from everyday life.We can also argue that online dating is a .7-billion-a-year industry and that the data recorded by these companies doesn't necessarily translate into a winning algorithm.In an opening statement, Klinenberg argued that dating apps are changing our behavior toward romance: "They're changing our norms, making us ruder, flakier, and more self-involved." Whether it's through email, Instagram, or Tinder, phones demand our attention constantly.The anti-online-dating camp argues that apps encourage people to treat others like objects in a transaction; that it's superficial."People routinely lie about their height, their age, their weight, their income," said Klinenberg.
And I think it's harder these days because we have these ways of sheltering ourselves and being meeker about how we ask someone out.