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Posted by / 03-Mar-2020 13:19

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Her needs, emotionally were overwhelming at times....whinning when she couldn't see me, whinning when I wouldn't spend the night etc and she was older than I....

I'll be starting grad school next year and I'm studying for some industry certifications so I'm extremely focused right now.

I wonder if I have gotten to the point of no return. I wonder if I have gotten to the point of no return. I'm not working now so it's really easy for me to fall into the trap of only leaving the house when I feel like it.

And for awhile there when dad was in hospice I even started a meetup group but then after he died I cancelled it.

I haven't tried to meet anyone new, because that is a distraction and takes time. I'm working some Fri and Sat nights till 8pm or just resting and thinking of my goals.

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I have done it repeatedly, sell out, find a raw piece and land and build anew.

Eventually the place gets built and than ennui sets in. The problem now is age has made that more difficult.

But like I said, I try not to get too sucked up in my own self-deliboration to forget who the hell I am.

Jesse I am not a hermit, but I have withdrawn from a lot of socializing. I'm just not seeking out to go out on most Fri and Sat nights.

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And I've stopped going to another group too as I am just getting more and more into hermit mode. I've been thinking about advertising for a "housemate" to have someone in here with a daily schedule that would in turn impose more structure on me. I've been thinking about advertising for a "housemate" to have someone in here with a daily schedule that would in turn impose more structure on me. In that case, I isolate myself and refuse to hang out or date anyone.